TheWhiteTornado Offline

I'm glad to hear it!

Very fine, thank you Yourself?

Yeah I am. And thanks, you helped

And that's great! I'm so happy for you! And for her too, because she would be lucky to have you

As of right now, I am doing GREAT! Everything I never thought could happen, happened, and for the good! Sorry for my over-enthusiasm...lol. How are you?

That does make me feel better a bit (:
its gonna be hard though, i mean, he may be all excited when we can finnaly hangout again which will probley be months from now (i dont know if told you his parents wont let me and him hagnout cuz we kissed) and it may make me feel bad to say no, and im gonna have such an urge to go out with him when i see him. but me and him just have to be friends at the most and thats it. nothing else, and for mabie a long time i will be sad when i see him becuz of course he will remind me. but its for the best. i have to try my most hardest to not fall into his game.
i just wish thing wud be so much easier to where god cud just put a crystal ball in my hands and show me who my future forever guy is. then i wouldnt have to get my heart broken so many times and always ger hurt, go through brekups and such, end up with jerks, ect.
i just wish i cud see his name and his face so i know then who i will be with and any guy who comes along to ask me out i will know isnt the one and wont have to worry about it! i hate how you have to go through this huge rollder coaster and go through so many people you love just to find them. it is worth it in the end but come on! why do i have to question all the time and wonder everyday who im gonna end up with? i hate it! haha (:
anyway, my mom wont let me have facebook,myspace. except for these 2.
shes a saftey freak and such, yeah it sucks haha.
but im also trying to get a Gmail,

i have quizilla, (which messes up my computer so i havent really bene going on there much) and this and Gmail now. and hopefully some other email on the way very soon (:
no im fine just talking to you like this right now. (:

I know and the saddest part is ive relized that i have fooled myself with him.
my friend who is related to him told me that honestly, you cud tell by his face he wasnt loving me for me, he had something else on his mind the whole intire time i was there and after that. he said it was obvious he was only wanting to have uknowwhat with him. he told me hes disrespectful to his parents, he beats up his brother brutally for no reason, makes him cry, he punches and hurts people for no reason at all, he says stuff behind your back, he lies to you, hes bene doing marijuana, drank beer, licker,
he says thats all he lives for is doing that with girls and thats it.
he knows how he acts. he will talk sweet to you but if you catch in time he can be a big jerk to you. so i now learned he never really loved me. everything was fake, everything. making his hands into a heart towards me, talking sweet to me, hugging me, defending me from people who were people who were being rude to me, making out with me, everything. it was never anything and it never will be, EVER. it makes me wanna cry and just die becuz its soooooooooooooooooooo hard!
i love him, but i cant have him. he told me he even told my friend he may do it with me if he really tried. but you know what? i know whats better for me. and its not him. and it never will be. ): Im gonna try to not fall into his trap ever again. im so sad.

and yes, i have hardly any friends stil.

and yes, 6 days without selfharm. although i am suicidal again ):

aww sorry to hear your sick ): trust me, its sucks, end of story haha!
ive bene sad lately, my bf dumped me on thanksgiving becuz of his parents not letting me and him hangout anymore for a while just becuz we kissed. we were sad and were friends now but they wont let us hangout anymore, so he dumped me ): i think they forced him too. so ive bene sad about that.
my friends mad at me, i have no friends at my school anymore.
im being judged for who i am and nobody will talk to me and its like who really cares if im bi sexual? does it really matter?
but hardly anyone will talk to me. and i had over 20 friends and even more than that. pretty much everybody knew who i was and were good friends with me. now, hardly anybody ):
and my teacher treats me like crapo
the only thing thats good is santa comin down our chimney in a few weeks for cookies and presents haha (:
and of course we get a lot of presents (:
anyhow, nothings bene really good for me lately.
at least i havent cut in like 5 and half days now.

Hey whats up i havent heard from you in a while.

Well, I had a couple of surgeries, went to India.
Same old. You?

Haha, cool xD