Riddikulus Offline

I'm feeling worse than ever, I can't control my suicidal thought or thoughts to self harm, I don't want to keep doing this and I don't even know what to do anymore.

You're pathetic and worthless Charli

I've been trying so hard to hold it together the past few days, with a new job starting soon, my old University are still trying to do all they can to ruin my life and future career.
I really want to cut myself but I'm trying really hard not too, those thoughts are then leading to thoughts of overdose and I'm finding it really difficult to push them back. I just don't see a point anymore.

I feel like I'm slowly getting worse and worse, the urges to hurt myself are getting stronger and I'm really struggling to control them. I can't go near a bridge or anything at the moment without thoughts going through my head. I don't know what to do anymore.

So I'm two months drug free and a month Self Harm free and for a while I thought I was progressing well. Suddenly I feel like I'm going completely back downhill, I don't have any friends to talk to, no one is willing to listen, it's like no one cares. I have no community support anymore and I'm doing this completely alone.

I've started writing up plans again and notes and I can't handle my thoughts anymore. All I want to do right now is hurt myself...

I haven't been on here for ages, while my life is busier, I'm falling apart more. Since starting uni in September I've had 4 hospital trip which have involved getting stitches after Self-Harm. I keep being refered to mental health teams but getting knocked out of the system and my GP doesn't know why.
I had to see the crisis team, they keep trying to put me on meds and I'm refusing to take them.... I don't want to be here...I can't cope anymore.