Reflections Offline

Cried myself to sleep.. Woot... Fucked up,, Was in a bitchy mood, and no matter what I did, I couldn't stop myself from hurting her.. Now she says she's going to make it so no one can ever hurt her again... She wouldn't tell me what she meant by that.. She said she was tired and went to "bed"

I better talk to her today... I need to know if she hates me as much as I hate myself right now.. I can't fucking believe I made her cry.. I just wanna die.
I hate this. Why...

Ugh I'm so tired. Ashley told me last night she still loves me, that didn't help matters... I got no sleep because of this. I have only had a small bowl of shreeded wheat with 1/3 milk and 2/3 water... I'm skipping lunch, and probably having very limitted dinner, hopefully without purging again unlike last night... I'm so dizzy and tired and it's driving me insane.. I still have some control, so I'm using it the best I can. But I can feel ana/mia, whatever taking over really fast... I can't tell...

I don't feel well... I haven't eaten much yet today, and don't plan to either... Yesterday I had almost nothing as well... I thought this was over... I think I'm going to go lay down, my head hurts and throat is stinging... I won't tell anyone, mainly because no one listens. I've tried before, back when I was really bad and needed hospitalization, and no one even noticed... So that's fine, I know what not to do so whatever. I just want to lose a few, after weighing in, that kind of shocked me, so...

Aparently you can't put prefixes on blogs, oh well, I tried my best ahaha...

This is a vent I just did, also posted in the screaming thread, thought I'd post it here since it's pretty much a blog entry in my eyes... Get ready >.>


I've fucking had it honestly!~ I ahte being alone, I hate having to lay in my room in the dark by myself. I hate it! I hate seeing you with that guy, I don't even know him but I hate him because he has you and I don't! I just wish...

Heey, so ya. I'm at school and I'm bored (gasp!) Ahaha. Anyways, so ya. I've started my story, it's going really good, I'm like, done the first chapter I think, which is awesome.

I don't go to the lunchroom during lunch anymore because I've been bleh, also... Everyone's got a gf/bf now, and it's not me, so I avoid that so I don't get triggered. Yes, making me lonely even more, but at least it's a good loneyl

It's freaking boring! There's NO snow! Like honestly,...