NoHope1 Offline

IIt's 7:44A.M right now. I should be sleeping, but my mother decided that since Kira is gonna be gone for 5 day's that Melody should sleep in my room. Melody kept me up till about 4A.M. And now I can't freaking sleep cause she won't shut the hell up.

I'm getting my phone tomorrow. So that's a good thing. I'll be able to follow my routine again. And maybe on my runs loose a few pounds. I'm debating on whether or not to continue to sketch a person that hates me now. I started to sketch her while we were close but then we caught and I forgot all about it. When I found it I wanted to tear it into nothing, but something about it makes me wanna keep going. What should I do? And I did it again. This time I know why. I want help with my problems, but lately it seems like no one wants to really know what's going on with me. I feel like everyone has almost forgotten about me. All the people I used to call friends have moved on. Or hate me. I thought being alone would make my life better but all it has done is made me more depressed that usual.

I feel alone again. Why do I always end up feeling alone? I don't get it. I wake up, Alone. Eat, alone, sleep, alone. Everything's no I do, I do alone. And I don't get it. I see all these people around me, an I feel alone. My mind is really messing with me these days.

I just love when people tell other people about the things I've done with that person and try's to get me in shit. Like I know shit about you that could get you in a lot of shit. So just think about that next time. And remember the shit we did together. I don't care. It was just one thing. But if more just so happens to come out. I won't be the only one getting in shit.

I feel like I'm not part of this world. Like I wasn't ever born. People don't see me. I don't want to sound like I want people to pay attention for the wrong reasons, but it would be nice to have someone see me, and care about me. I know I'm stuborn. I know I'm not the best, I just wish I had a close friend/companion that knows how I feel, and that would never leave me. Like not just say it, but do it.

Today... Not okay.. Just, just not okay.

We found her. She was at her boyfrineds house. My mom got a police escourt to his house.

Ariel went out.. We don't know where she is.. My parent's might call the cops if she doesn't show up soon.. Kinda scared that she got taken.. Or maybe the bruce trails rapist got to her and killed her.. I don't know what to do..

I'm gonna hang out with my ex. He's really depressed so we're hanging out to talk. I'm gonna be completly honest. I still like him. But I don't think I'll ever date him again. It was not a good thing the first time. Why would it change the second. And besides I bet he would never date me again. Oh well. I don't want anything to do with "love" anyway. Lol.

Okay. What is it?