Music is my Life Offline

Hey how are you doing?

ive bene good, my mom has now found me a cycologist (idk how u spell it haha) so now i have a councler, and a cycologist
for my eating problems now.
im sure ive formed some type of eating disorder, its gotten so bad and ive bene dealing with it plus my depression and everything else for almost a year now so i feel glad that im getting more support now.
christmas vacations bene good (:
opening all of ours on christmas eve haha!

Hey bill, havent talked to u in so long! how have u bene?! ive bene doing better a little bit with life and everything (:

yeah well it sucks cuz honestly, i dont think i need to go on medication cuz its just not necessary. and on top of that my counceler moved away so i can only talk to her over the phone and that doesnt help much. im gonna talk to her about it but it really doesnt help when i cant see her face to face ):
we thought of outting up a webcam so i cud see her and talk to her but she cant really get one i guess. and im not gonna just tell my mom these things she doesnt understand and she just flips out, and who knows what my doctor wud do. i mean shes cool and all but i really wouldnt want to. I was gonna try helplink

Well, it just seems like every single thing that i wud never want to happen had happened. My bestfriend and i are having problems cuz he liked this girl and me too but then he chose the girl and on friday he was a jerk and hurt my feelings, made me cry when i got home. so im having problems with him.
im parents had a huge fight a couple nights ago and i cut my leg and made probley the biggest cut ive ever done before and it kinda freaks me out to see it on my angle cuz its so huge, so ive got like 12 cuts on my leg, now im having to start all over again with being selfharm free and i just keep trying and trying to fight it but it just seems so impossible! i wish i would have never have started again last year because i went 8 months without it and now i just cant help myself anymore. my teachers bene treating like crap this whole year
and has broken down my selfesteem so much that i felt like just killing myself. and i thought i was a loser so i starved myself for 2 days cuz of her. i stoped that. now its cutting. my aunts going threw chemo right now and she may die and ive never even met her before, i may not even get in that book i got excepted in because my moms just so busy and wont mail it back to them so i can get in! ot sucks! and the deadline date is november 16th, and she keeps saying ill mail it, ill mail it, BUT SHE NEVER DOES MAIL IT BACK AND SIGN IT! io just feel like giving up and now im probley suicidal again because i tried to kill myself 2 nights ago and then last night i tried to kill myself 6 times in one night. im a toatal wreck ):

hey.......im not doing too well ):

Oh thanj you! by the way...............I got excepted! (:
i am now going to be in a book if my mom will hurry up and sign thew papers! (grrrrrrr) she always says shes busy. The deadline date is like on november 16th!
she cant just waite until the last day! it wont even get there in time!

yup
I can!

How are you?!

Haha yeah i missed you to!!!
it was kinda getting boring on here not talking to you,
thats so sweet! thanks!

ive bene good, i turned 13 last week and i am soooooo happy to finnaly be a teenager, although on my bday i was just like, Okay i do not feel 13, haha!
ive bene hanging around the house finishing up my twilight book that ive bene reading for months, (Im a fast reader so i can really go threw 10 chapters in 2 3 days probley if i tried) well, i have bene trying but im addicted to this site (;

Oh, i might have a story published in a hardcover book with my name engraved on it and my photograph in it beside a biography of my life, Although i dont remember ever sending in a biography of my life, the only thing i can think of is my 5th grade teacher last year that possibly sent it in, i may also get a scholorship to go to an art school when i move out of the house and can choose ANY COLLEGE, HIGHSCHOOL MIDDLE SCHOOL I WANT. but i know for a fact that i am going to be staying here at my private school haha (: but its so cool! on top of that it will be in a library of 1,000 schools in the U.S.
its insane, it was out of the blue, it is truly a miracle and i hope i will get in. Ive bene praying almost everyday that if their is anyway god can give me the scholarship, and i can win, And he thinks its okay for me to have it, then to give it to me,
Will you please pray for me??? ):
im kinda worrying about it