MissMatched Offline

I am sorry I didnt make any sense Shelley. I'm sorry I worried you.

hey shelley! How are you doing? Hope you had a happy new year!

exactly!! its horrible, but im learning to deal with it, or im at least trying to change. It feels like ill never get better. but i know it will be okay. everyone says its good to be insightful, but i dont know sometimes. i think it makes it harder because you know how you act, but not knowing how to change it. i hope i make some sense. LOL i hope you are well!

i hope you had a Merry Christmas!!

Yeah, I get that Shelley. Thank you. I have to leave here. There has just been too much too soon. I have to let the care team do their job. Which means letting go of this and embracing them. Writing had helped. Everyones comments had helped. Writing gave me something to look forward to each day. Something to wake up for. My body is refusing to help and it sucks. But enough of that. Your friendship has meant a lot to me Shelley. It is a friendship I have cherished and will miss dearly. I probalby haven't made any sense. I am sorry. Take care. Much love, Mary Margaret

haha, omg i HATE heat, im so glad its winter right now. LOL well i prefer fall and spring.
I hate where i am right now. in my mind at least. there is so much going on inside my head that its just making me go mad. I feel very on edge all the time. i just dont know how to feel, or what im feeling. i feel like i need to have an answer for everybody. Basically i want to please them and make them happy, and then maybe they will love me. (even though they already do). its just i want to make EVERYONE happy and am willing to kiss their asses. LOL. i dont know what to do right now. just trying to get by is all.
any suggestions? LOL.

thank you so much for understanding!! would you mind listening to me bitch about stuff around my home? i have a therepist and pysch, but sometimes it doesnt help much. how is the weather there? We got snow!!

I am really not strong at all. I have just gotten better at holding onto the rails so that I don't fall. I am a girl who is actually very scared to death. Many days I wake and can not even catch my breath. I cry almost daily, but the tears don't always come. Today I had chills but still felt so numb. This to will come to pass they say. From myself, I just can't run away. Why is my life so hard. How come I was the one dealt this card. These are the questions I do not understand. All I know is that wasn't my plan. Althouh my voice is silent, my words I do not keep inside. From myself, I can no longer hide. So I must take my feelings and work to move on. Live for this day because it too will soon be gone. What tomorrow will bring I can only guess. More of the same probably, stress and emptiness. I miss you Shelley. Your friend, Mary Margaret

I am envious of you only spending 5 minutes on here. I find this place so addictive. I have been writing alot again. I have written five poems in the last two days on the same topic. It has been so hard for me to move past it and clear my head. Trying to keep the memories from clouding and the words that were said. It is like a heavy fog obscuring the beacon by the shore. Devoid of my matron guide, I can navigate no more. Even the right words are now hard for me to find. Enveloped in this cover making me blind. This has nothing and everything to do with what I have been writing about. In feeling the loss that has me now in such doubt.

LOL sleeping was kinda a fail, i slept a few more hours. Oh man and i have my doctor in about an hour. this will be fun. I feel not so good today. I hope you have a good day. sorry im kind of a downer. and thank you for the photo comments. i appreciate it. i take pictures when im bored. LOL. cant wait to hear from you!