L'espoir Offline

love youuu

It's been somewhat okay and somewhat crappy. my ocd has been through the roof with intrusive thoughts that are so scary i didn't want to blog about it for fear of being judged. am really sore from all the exercise i've been doing. char is away yesterday and half of today so i only got to talk to her for a couple of minutes this weekend, and then you have been busy hurting yourself while drunk on trampolines is it? so i've been a tad lonely but thats mah own fault for not having real life friends. and you?

how's it going hun?

yes, of course. i'll meet you in chat.

Thanks.

I don't know how i am really. I've been swinging wildly back and forth between being hopeful and upbeat and planning in detail how i will kill myself. A half hour ago i was planning out my death after a fight with my mom, and now my lovely girlfriend is giving me butterflies and making me smile.

I've been doing a lot of work on my trauma , so thats been bringing up a lot of emotions. Also i've been trying to make some major lifestyle changes like rejoining weight watchers and exercising more. and the looming issue of whether or not i will return to school has been stressing me out majorly.

My gf just had to get offline, and i can already feel myself starting to crash. i feel like i'm going to cry. ugh.

hey hun,
how are you? (And don't tell me you're fine if you're not.)

Megan

Thanks for the blog comment Jen I really appreciate it.

if you ever want to talk , (including right now) let me know. you're not alone.

hey hun, how are you? you never responded to my question i pm-ed a day or two ago.