just josh Offline

haha all are welcome

haha....well rereading my last message i realize how suddenly everythings gotten better in the course of one night
i got asked out by someone who really cares...and I haven't felt so good in ages.
so, I think I'm feeling a lil better, though I'm gonna miss them still, I realize now that this isn't the end for me, that I have hope and ppl out there who really care.
so yeah..... (*mini party inside my head* )

sorry I haven't been on in a while, I'm trying to feel better but its not working so now I'm back. Ive been so extremely suicidal and triggered lately, and Ive cried enough to water our whole town (which is going through a heat wave btw). I write the words "hold on" on my arm everyday and pray and just take some time to breathe. It hurts to breathe thats what sucks (emotionally not literally)
I miss matthew and I miss being loved and I miss being happy with Mimi and Matthew or any other person I've come to like or even love, but loves someone else...

I hope you're right, I hate hate hate still being here when I was so close....

I hope things are okay for you

josh come back xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Soz 4 last night I just don't like people pretending to care !!!!

hello misterr
comeback, im nawt finished with you yet
xxxxxxxx

no dont you worry u dont care

I'm doing really bad uit no one cares

thanks, i have a friend who might help me do some recording and yeah youtube would be awesome if i ever get on there, Ill let you know
the words inhale exhale idk I'm a bit suicidal and when I get all caught up in it, one of my best friends always tells me to "just breath..inhale....exhale...ive got you...I'm here tay" :') that guy that weve been discussing...he says that. so the inhale exhale thing means a lot
speaking of him, yeah im trying to forget him but at the same time its just hard....we're in this sister-brother stage now but gosh its just...not the same. I cry so much and i just told him last night that I had cut again. Its hard i guess....i miss him.
i was this innocent shy gurl who loved life the way it was, and the past year i got sucked into the drama....horribly.
since weve talked, Ive seen my friends a lot, especially my best friend Kate and the guy (matthew), Ive been more suicidal than cutting, and Ive told 3 more people since weve talked. So I guess things aren't that much better, but Im trying to stay string.
hbu kiddo?

of course I am joshy boy and yourself? x