Furubasu Offline

Hey C: I was looking on my profile and I decided to talk to someone I hadn't in a while, so I read a conversation we had back in '09. O: How're you doing? C:

heey im sophie

sick and tired of everything...

i have no idea where my bruises come from
everyday i wake up with more...
it sucks because for PE we have to wear shorts and a short sleeve shirt
so i didn't bring my changes so i wouldn't have to get dressed...
they made me wear loaners and i started crying in the locker room because i had big purple bruises all over me...
and my PE teacher saw me crying and was like "hurry up carey, we dont have all day."

DSS=Department of Social Services...they are the people to call when you need foodstamps and to report violence...

very bad....

im not close to anyone...
i haven't been to the doctor in gawd knows how long...
and i dont have a therapist (i scared all 4 of thems)
my school counselor knows i used to struggle with it,
but i dont like talking to people i see on a daily basis....
and she would have to tell my mom if she knew i was cutting
because of the safety things...
the school is liable if they dont tell my mom
and im scared that if she looks over me for cuts
she will see my bruises
(not caused by my mom or dad)
and call DSS again...

ha
the sad the is,
they all saw my blade because i put it in a clear box (stupid, i know)
and they all called me emo and said nothing else.

idk...
im just getting that empty feeling that i fought off for so long,
and now its back and much worse

unfortunately,
i only have two bracelets,
because when i quit earlier,
i threw them out so i would have nowhere to hide them

now i miss my bracelets...
im going to get one of those arm gloves soon....

im having teouble keeping myself happy...
this morning when i woke up,
my sleeves were pulled up,
and my bracelets torn off,
(they are the kind you have to take off, they don't fall off)
and my cuts were turned face up...
i think my mom knows about it....
I'm so...
Lost

im living....