dredear Offline

Theres one thing I don't understand. My friends tell me to stay strong, keep my head up, ect. But whats the point? I remember after one of my "attempts" my friends told me not to do that ever again, its not worth it. But whats one life going to do? Seriously though. Its not like I was going to do anything productive with my life anyways. I don't see the big deal. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I don't care if someone comitts suicide. I actually spent awhile bawling my eyes out cause...

Everything was doing so good. But then I realized, The one person I trusted with everything doesn't give a fuck about me anymore. I don't know what to do. She literally knows everything about me, she got me to trust her, acted like she cared, and now when I need her, she's gone.
And Leda's pregnant, who knows who the father is but I'm an idiot so I'm going to end up babysitting the kid all the time and practically be its dad. I can see it happening.
Oh joy.

So far today has been really good. I met my little sister Ally for the first time, my parents gave her up when she was born. She is the cutest little kid. She has this moose thing and we played "dress up" with that for awhile. I'm trying to actually build a relationship with her because she is my sister. I didn't tell her about my brother or my dad, she's only nine.

I honestly thought I could be myself around you. I told you all my secrets, everything. I trusted you. But none of that matters anymore, Because you only love me when I'm doing what you want. It doesn't matter that I just got out of the hospital, You can't get someone to notice you. Of course you always come first.
I'm done. I'm fucking done.

So I'm moving in with my dad and my brother.
I'm fucked. :|