Digit. Offline

That's cool! Who'd you talk with?

Thanks! You're amazing-er. I'm okay, last night was bad. How are you?

Well my dad kinda told her straight out, or maybe she asked why I had scars on my face. She mostly lectured me. She said if I do it out of anger that's not good but if I picked at a mosquito because it's itchy that's ok because it's not out of emotions. Then she said my face will become ugly from scars and no one will like me and that's not good because I could be pretty but I'm making myself ugly. Maybe she had good intentions, I don't know. I'm confused about who they are. Sometimes they seem to genuinely care but other times I would never believe for a second they care about me.

maybe spending time with cousins. But I don't know if they talk about me when I'm not around. I bet they do. They ask me where my mom is, then the older one whispers something in their ears.
yeah there are worse habits, but I'll never ever tell them about my SH. My grandma found out that I pick at skin because that's pretty obvious. I have scars from that everywhere. But I'd never tell them anything, myself. Like I said they don't accept people's differences, about anything.

why should I go to everything?
they'll pick on me either way.
I know from now I won't like it. Oh yeah, I might make my grandma cry from me. She's always upset at me for something. One time she was bothered about my hair being crooked, she told everyone to look at it. They were all staring at me. I'll never tell them my hair is crooked because I cut my hair when I'm upset.

Not much, just being here at TH at the moment, you?

Final words? My final words would be, keep your head held high and be as you are.

That's right. Although people say we have to get out there and find someone, it's not as easy, but it can be that if we just go in a place which shares our interests, it's likely that we'll end up meeting someone. When I was 16 I really wanted relationships with people but I really tried hard to make myself more 'acceptable' so that people would like me more, I guess I just wanted to fit in so people would want to have a relationship with me but I realised doing all of that wasn't worth the effort and then after I stopped trying, I ended up meeting someone at college, 2 years later we started going out and were in a relationship together for nearly 3 years. It's things like that, where we get ourselves out there but don't try to be with someone that we end up finding someone.

I tend to be rather romantic in nature too. I enjoy being romantic and doing little gestures. I can get attached to people really quickly and this has always been my failing. Like with people in the past before I was in a relationship with someone, I'd become really interested in someone and then when I saw them with someone else I'd not feel jealous but kind of wish it was me with them and it was really saddening when I couldn't be with them, especially because the were with someone else. In time I found ways of switching off by drawing on my exercise books in school doing word art or talking to someone else in the class room, at home I did gaming or was in the garden with my mum. Each person's way of switching off and coping with the ability to take their mind off the person they're interested in is different, experiment with ways of doing it for yourself and see which you find works best for you.

I'm currently living with my dad and sisters, and there's a whole other set of problems with that. I'm not being bullied in school anymore, since I started college. I just have to ignore relatives I guess. There's some luncheon thing today and I'm not going to it, anything else I'm invited to I'll ignore.

Aw, I can understand how difficult that must have been especially if you're interested in her. I know it's hard to switch off but you must try, find something to help distract you and take your mind off of her after you've seen her with someone else otherwise you'll get trapped into a loop of feeling hurt everything you see her with someone. You'll be waiting for her for a very long time and even then she may not be interested in you as more than a friend, she can't help how she feels as much as you can't help how you feel.