Oh, gotcha. Happy pre-birthday!

I know you want me to feel better and I really understand. I'm getting a little better though. Friday is my birthday

I wouldn't be trying so hard to make you feel better if I didn't think you deserved it
And what's Friday?

Awww thank you Jack. You're a really great friend. I just hope I can get better after Friday

Two things:
1. I'll be the first of many to tell you that you are, without a doubt, 100% worth just as much as anyone and 150% more worth it than those dicks that'd tell you differently
2. I promise you that you're on the right path by coming to the realization that you want to get help and that soon enough you'll be feeling all the stronger

I'm trying my best to let it go, but it's really hard right now. I thought about my friend all day yesterday, but I didn't cry because I didn't want to deal with a panic attack. If people wouldn't have treated me bad when I was in public school, I would always think I'm worth it. It's kind of difficult for me to think I'm worth anything because no one ever told me that I was. I'm really sorry that you felt like that. I try not to worry about myself as much as I do because I think it's selfish. For the past couple weeks, I've been caring about others and not myself. I realized that people have problems just like I do, but their problems can be worse than mine. I just want to stop grieving over what happened and be my normal self again (by that I mean trying to be happy for myself and others and wanting to get help for myself).

Grieving is perfectly normal, try not to worry about that and just let it go. As for your own worth, you're worth more than you (or whoever you're saying treats you badly) and, even if you're worried about other people's view of you, screw that. For a long time I felt like I was nothing special and just another blank face to everyone else but I figured I didn't need anyone else and that I could just do what I felt like doing for the sake of doing it (and by it I mean helping people and I've found it's more gratifying to know I'm helping others rather than to worry about myself).

I know you would care, but I really don't see why you would. My life already sucked before she passed away. I always wanted to give up because I knew I wasn't worth living or anything. It seems like no one cares about me, loves me, or wants me. I don't want to keep crying every day about her dying. I try to let it out when I get upset, but it gets out of control and I end up hurting myself or having a panic attack. I'm trying my best to move on, but it's not working just yet. I don't even think I'm going to be happy for my birthday and it's on Friday

First off, I would care and I'm sure more than you know would too. Secondly, trying to help was noble but I suppose there was nothing more you could have done. I know at the moment it seems like life just plain sucks but you don't know that the rest of your life is going to go to shit. If you were to give up you would never get to enjoy the good parts of life that make the bad parts worth it. And crying and grieving are perfectly normal, just let the emotions out, just don't keep this from ever allowing you to move on.

I don't think it'll be alright. She wasn't meant to die. She just had a newborn a week before she died. I try to do a lot so my friends can stay alive and live a better life than me. I can't stop crying over this. I really miss her and I want to be with her. There aren't many people who love me or would care if I died. I know some people would be really happy if I was gone. I don't know how much longer I can be here