She knows that... but she likes to see what it looks like to try and convince me... and it doesn't matter... I have scars... scars that just won't go no matter what I put on them... my arm (which as shallower cuts) still has scars from about a year ago... they'll never go...
I did a list... I had 2 reasons for going... and 11 reasons against :S
It's not looking good and the more I hear about the holiday the more I don't want to go...
Xxx

Could you not tell her you don't feel confortable wearing one? Or maybe use it as an insentive to stop?
Try makeing a list and seeing if that helps (: Xxx

I supose... thing is... I'm pretty much confinced that when I next go on holiday my SH will be found out for sure... Like I have to swim so my leg will be seen and ma will force me to show her what I look like in a bikini without a tank top... so I'm really screwed... And the games I'd miss are awesome ones... I think a list would be good I'll do that Thank you!
Xxx

Make a list of benifits and consequnces. Maybe speak to your mom? I think that going on holiday would be better though. It may be hot or stressful but it's better than an awkward living situation. Maybe a holiday would give you a break and you can escape from things for a while. I think it would probably help. You can always catch up on the football after. Xxx

I don't know what to do... I have to choose between football and holiday... And I'll make ma VERY mad if I choose footy... I don't actually want to go to madera cuz I hate holidays and stuff... I really don't want to miss the matches... But ma will go anyway and I'll have to go stay with my other nan who I don't get on with although it's an oppotunity to find out about my father... but I think her hubby is a bit of a perv... I don't know... I really don't like holidays... Everything fails on them and I don't find them fun, just stressful, too hot and a place to get fat... but I don't want ma to get mad and my living situation would be horrible for a bit... But I'd have more freedom and stuff... I don't know... what do you fink I should do?
Xxx

I know but you can work it out in time. Things will work out.
You don't have to thank me. You mean so much and i'm just glad i can help.
Get some sleep lovely <3 Night!
Thanks beautiful.
i love youuuuuuuuuuuu <3

I suppose it might... I really haven't a clue tbh...
Thanks honey Your support means so much to me... I don't know what I would do without you
I'm going to go to bed... I really need sleep, the lack of it really isn't helping, I just don't want tomorrow to come y'know...
I'll remember that Thank you! I'm here for you also!
Xxx
p.s. I love you sooooooooooooo much!
Xxx

Maybe thats part if it? That your so sheltered its become to much? I don't know there will be a reason. But not everyone knows it. It doesn't mean that it makes things any easier or harder. You will get through this baby girl i know you will.
I know but it is easier for you both if you tell her. She won't be upset.She'll try and cater for your needs in the future.
Sweetheart, you are fine. I promise you that. If you wern't i wouldn't say it.
It's not stupid. School can be tough especially if your on your own.
Maybe talk to your form tutor? Or your favourite teacher or something? Then they can help you.
My phones always on if you need me. You CAN get through this, you really can. You are so much stronger than you could ever realise. <3 Xxx

BUt everyone else has resons for feeling bad... I have a perfect life... I have awesome friends... people that care about me and im so sheltered its un believeable! I do generally eat healthy its just so expensive and I have to make sure I have enough for each day. In general we have not much snack foods which is good... but my nan left crisps in my room from when she stayed and its so tempting... Im taking my other stuff into school for my non veggie friends And when walking Ill slip it in I just hate hurting her feelings!
I have such a stomach.. it was flattening but its getting bad... really don't know how to solves it... it just won't flatten!Im not perfect... I'm never going to be perfect and Im heading for hell...
I know it's stupid, they're just kids and I wont see them in a few years bbut I dont know... I hate it...
I'm not sure really... or school doesnt have a pastrol care thing so I never know who im meant to talk to... Mum says she'll write in if it gets too bad in a few weeks but i hope it calms... i guess I need to get through these next few weeks... but I have a tough couple of days on my hands... really not sure if I can get through tomorrow and friday mornings...
Xxx

It is not irrational and you're going through a rough time. It's fine. I'd rather you talk to me than do this alone.
You've had a bad day. Try and fix that. Maybe set meal plans and snack on fruit if you're hungry? It's healthier and you'll feel less guilty.
Maybe explain to your mom about gelatine for next time? It took my mom a few attempts to understand just exatly how many things contain gelatine. You won't get fat! You are not fat! You are perfect as you are.
I know how it feels, in half my lessons i sit on my own. Just think it's an hour then it's done with. Day dream about fit footballers :P That may help (:
Is there someone you can speak to at school just to explain your struggling with work? Xxx