I'm so sorry you feel this way, seriously. You left that message a few hours ago- I hope you found a healthy way to deal with the urges. Honestly, sometimes when I have the urge to
SH it helps me if I take a walk (go outside, get some fresh air, go on a run to let the energy out). As for the purging, remember that it won't help you and you'll only regret it later. Really, if you can go outside, call a friend, or best of all meet up with a friend when you get these urges you might be helped a lot. Hope you're feeling better...