I used to have councelling with the child and adolesent mental health services but I got discharged becasue they said I was better. Its a good idea what you're doing yknow but I don't think it would be right for me because I get so anxious at change and I hate moving around, I moved house a year ago and still not completely settled. Also, im 16 so I dont want to move away from my family and I am starting college in september. I'm sorta hoping that college will be my new start in a way.
xxx

awww hun... i thought i was going through a bad time.. i know you wont believe me but i totally understand how your feeling. My best friend is exactly like you she has been going through post natal depression and shes only 17. She has been trying to commit suiside a few times, You saying that you dont think u have a real reason for it, Well you have. Believe me you have every right to be upset, Have you tried talking to someone? You can go to meetings with a counceler and they might be able to help. Maybe you should do what im doing, look forward to somethin, i know it sounds silly but i really want to move away start a fresh life meet new friends and leave all my troubles behind, im going to save up about £300 and get a cheap 1 way flight to somewhere get a job behind a bar or something and stay there. Have u thought about somethin like that? xxxxxx

That sounds awful. To be honest, I feel pathetic because nothing much has happened to me to excuse it... I mean, I started feeling a bit down when my parents were arguing a lot and when I had an ankle injury that stopped me doing sports... I know it sounds strange but sport was somerthing that I enjoyed and I used to do something every day so it was a bit part of my life. Ummmmm my parents split up, I was self harming, my sister developed OCD and an eating disorder..... My dad was aggressive and occassionally violent to me/mysisters/mum. I was sexually assualted in a very mild way... I fell out with all my friends pretty much and then my grandma died and I just lost it really. I've been self harming for 2 and a half years now and I tried to commit suicide. Lately Im finding it really hard because I fell out with one of my last few friends and it was a really messy thing and she was awful to me and its hard to explain, she was never a great friend to start with and it all got me down, I had a breakdown in schoool........ then I have just recently left school and I am finding it hard to deal with because it was somewhere I felt safe and secure; if I was upset or anything I knew where to go/what to do and there were people there looking out for me. My mentor at school was really special to me and helped me sosososo much but now I've left I won't see her.

God I have rambled a lot lot lot. I dunno, all that stuff it sounds like quite a bit but its not as bad as I make out, I didn't even feel that upset about it.

ANYWAYYYYYYYY, I think you should take the anti depressants because I always say to people that its worth a try and if they dont work out you can always come off them again. On the plus side though, they could really improve your life which has gotta be worth it. As for the making you feel worse thing, I reckon that yeah it can get worse for a few weeks but when they kick in it should help a lot. That's just my opinion though, obviously

xxxx

aww.. its crap isnt it. Oo god were do i start, split up with my boyfriend. Quit my job, Quit my college course, all because i was getting abit down iv been put on anti depressents cos im upset all the time, but im not takin them cos they supposibly make u feel worse. What been upsetting u? x

Yeaaaaah, same really. I just feel kinda weepy, nobody at home notices or cares sooo yeah I deal with it myself. Kinda fed up at the mo. Whats getting you down? x

its ok.. yea im fine just abit down Hows u feelin? xx

Thank you for commenting on my blog, i hope you are doing OK <3 c