i like my treatment center, but i miss being at home. I've been here for ten weeks and although the program is no specific amount of time, because i've just started a school here and theres no schools near my house that will accept me, it's likely i will be here another year and a half to two years. I have made a lot of progress in the past 6 weeks especially but I feel crazy and hopeless and trapped. i don't want to be in the hospital (which is more restrictive than the place i'm living now) because it just makes me more depressed to be locked up like that. i don't want to keep living this life, and i don't see any alternatives other than death.

How come? Is the treatment center helping you at all? I'm not bad I guess, holding it together but I suppose I'm cracking a bit under the pressure of everything. Don't know how and I don't know why but yaaaaaa xxxxxxx

i'm not too great. i've been feeling pretty suicidal the past few days even though i've been doing really well lately. i feel crazy, hopeless, lonely, and trapped. i've been talking to my parents, friends, and staff at the treatment center i'm living at and everyones sympathetic but has no useful advice. how are you, my dear?

Hey Meg,

thanks for the message it's really sweet. How are you doing?

hey, how are you? am online for the first time in ages and saw you were online too so i decided to skim the last few blogs of yours. i'm sorry things didn't work out with mike. it also seems like you're struggling a bit, and i'm sorry to hear that too. hope things are otherwise going well.
megan

I have been having to see all kinds of doctors for various health problems, so that's kind of annoying. Things have been up and down. often the dull ache of depression lingers. I'm struggling , but then, when am i not?

It's ok, just same old bleh day in day out.... how about you? x

hello. How's it going?

I will be back in about 5 mins.... my mum came in and i had to close TH but as soon as she is in the other room I can come back.... that is if you want

guess you had to go, so have a good night, Jen. Take care.