I'm okay, getting a little better now. There's so much going on, I don't know where I am, metaphorically I'm confused about myself. And we have an extra month of college :/

It's okay! You don't need to apologise. I really hope you're okay though. xxx I love you.

hi, I'm so sorry for getting all worried and then not coming online. I owe you a mother of all apologies. I was really scared about a few things that happened and after that I just refused to get online, I honestly don't know why. I just came online today, and figured that I better apologise.
I love you. I'll come online tomorrow and tell you about it. I love you.

Sent you a message on skype/msn. I'm free most of the time lovely, I'll see any facebook messages you send if I'm not there when I get on so whenever is okay for you. xx

Holl. How are you? I need to talk. It's important. Please let me know when you're free. Thanks

There's nothing you could have done lovely, it's pointless to regret everything now. <3 You were good to her when you spoke to her and I'm sure she was grateful for that, you know. xx
You can always afford to mourn lovely! It's natural and nobody would expect you not to. I know exams are important and everything, but this is pretty huge too and I think people would understand if you explained it to them. Some things just come first, you know?

With me? Oh, not a lot. My exams finished at the end of last month and I've received two university offers for September, so I'm really excited but also nervous too. I'm waiting on the last 2 placed I applied to to withdraw my application to I can accept my top two choices and hopefully this time next year I'll be living in Wales. But yeah, not a lot happening this end. <3

Thanks Holl. Yeah, it's a little weird, I guess. I was never allowed to ask her any medical questions, you know? At first, I thought that she'd want a chance of scene so I always spoke to her about a lot of stuff that was happening, be it with me, or just generally. Although, later when I did bring up anything in regard to her health, she'd stop me and tell me that I was the only one who never pestered her or made her answer questions she didn't want to, and she loved it that way, and that she would tell me if there was anything that was really worth knowing, medically. Otherwise, she'd talk about the nurses and her parents, and the gossip around the hospital and such. And I always liked it that way too. But, the last couple of weeks, month actually, I was quite busy and barely spoke to her. I feel bad. I honestly don't remember our last conversation. It's strange. It's surreal, actually. She seemed to be getting better. Her parents sobbed. To me. I wasn't even there to hold them or comfort them or anything. I felt so bad. I'm just rambling, I'm sorry, I don't really know what else to do, and well, I don't think I want to let myself go right now, what with so many tests that I have to study for, I don't know if I can afford to sit and mourn.

Do tell me what's been happening with you too. Otherwise I'd feel I was talking too much about me and such. <33

I'm so sorry to hear that! <3 It was lovely that you skyped though and that they wanted you there. I can't imagine how hard that must be for you and the family.
If you need to talk, I'm here. <33 x

Hahah, same!
I've been okay, love. A friend of mine, Bethany, from London, actually, passed away day before. The funeral was yesterday. I found it really weird, but her parents asked me to skype during the funeral saying that Beth would really like if I could be there, and I couldn't really say no. She had cancer. It hit me hard. Everyone expected it, she did too, but we never really were prepared nor did we want it to come to that, and when it did happen, it took the wind out of me. And she was an only child too. Her parents are really taking it hard. I am too. I keep thinking of all the little details and things she liked and disliked. I ended up listening to Christmas songs day before, in the evening, probably afternoon for you'll, because she loved Christmas, and weird stuff like that.
I used to skype with her a whole lot, especially after her chemo and stuff, when she was able enough. She'd ask me to sing to her, all her favorite songs because she didn't have the energy to. She'd hum along. I don't know. I almost laughed during the funeral. Apparently I don't cope very well with stress. But I guess I'm doing alright. Although I haven't really cried about her, and am still having a hard time accepting it.

How are you, sweetheart? How are things? <3 xx

HAI!
I've missed you too! I keep thinking 'I really need to message Kav soon', and then we seem to miss each other.
How've you been? x