Oh crap, sorry, I was really depressed yesterday, and ive done some serious cuts... but im better now...
Yeah, i cant really get the alcohol out of the house because we have like wines from year of 1950, 1954... I promised to a person who is 1500 miles away from me... So, i cant really call her...
Oh God... This is bullshit...

I just made 18 cuts on my right hand... Because of the bullying, i dont feel anything on my right hand.. Almost...

Would it be possible to just get all the alcohol out of your house? That could help to remove the temptation.
It would also help to find healthier alternatives. Alcohol is a depressant, which I think you already know so it isn't going to make you feel any better. Maybe you could call up the person you promised to when you get the urge?

Im screwed... Im euphoric one second, and then i get a weird and stupid tought, and im depressed for 2-3 days... And when i have depression, im drunk all the time... Im depressed again... And i will need to drink, and i promised someone i wont, and ill break the promise, ill hate myself, which will lead to more drinking and oh god...

Honestly those kinds of things will only make you feel worse. It took me awhile to realize that, but ever since I quit drinking I've been doing a lot better

Nope... I have my drink and my drugs... Thats my shoulder to cry on...

That's what I meant, emotionally lonely.
Is there anyone in real life that you could try and get closer to?

Well, im lonely in the soul, not psyhchicly...
Yeah, i do but not in "real life"... :/

Hopefully!
I'm really sorry to hear that. It's definitely not fun being lonely.
Do you have any good friends you can talk to or rely on?

Nice to meet you Nicole!
Good, so you will pass...
My day? oh... Well, if i say im drunk at the moment, will that say something? And that i have money and no love, and that i completly agree with any movie which says the same. Money wont bring you happiness...
I had a pretty shitty year, not day... :/