Yeah- letting people get to know you when you're not sure if you're gunna be alive is a tough thing. let people in, and then you risk hurting them if you decide to kill yourself. let people in and you risk being hurt. i hope you're still alive, and feeling better.
if you ever change your mind about wanting to talk, feel free to vm or pm.
take care.
-Megan

I highly doubt I'll ever kill myself. That takes guts. I'm bipolar. I feel hopeless and worthless sometimes, it happens. It's just shifts. Personally I don't give a damn if I live or die. I'm just going with the flow. I don't fear death. I didn't mean to brush you off. I don't like explaining myself and letting people get to know me. It's nothing personal.

I'm not mad at you. I was just getting frustrated because you brushed me off before i could even understand what the problem is.

I'm sorry you're feeling so down in the dumps right now.

I just wanted to encourage you to reach out for help to people in your life if you feel you might act on your suicidal urges- parents, mentors, doctors, etc. You mentioned you have bipolar. Many Mental illnesses like bipolar are treatable with medication, therapy, and lifestyle changes such as eating balanced meals and getting enough sleep. It is however very very hard to go it alone. Your life is valuable, and with treatment things CAN get better. You've been alive this long. You've managed to not act on your urges this far. So I would guess that if you've been able to not do it until now, there must be some little part inside you that doesn't want to die. try to hang on to that tiny part.


even if youre not having urges to cut using some of the suggestions on the alternatives to self harm list (its a sticky in the self harm section of the forum) may help you feel better if your feeling really overwhelmed. if you're feeling hopeless maybe you could try doing something that makes you feel more in control or better about youself. challenge yourself to take a small step towards one of your goals. do something difficult but realistic like working out, studying, etc or do a chore around the house/make cookies for an elderly neighbor to make you feel good about yourself.

Feel free to vm or pm anytime

you're not alone.
megan