_Xander_ Offline

wow, that's all i can say. i just never thought this day would come the day in which i'm out to the world. i just can't believe it it is just so insane.
i just got a text from my dad want to hear what it said. k here i goes
i love you as my daughter, son or transgender as hetero, homo or bisexual. i only want you to become a happy, healthy, responsible and produttive adult.
as i type this i can't stop crying yes i'm a boy now but that don't mean i can't cry. it just feels...

it's kinda as if indigo is dead as if she died and i'm standing in her place. it's kinda weird now but i like it. it's as if everyone is mourning the death of indigo even me, but at the same time it's good cuz Xander is a better person then indigo could ever be. as i was watching my hair fall of my head it felt as if i was being reborn and as if this time i was born right. each chunk of hair a peice of me i no longer felt i needed to hold on to. live was good as a girl but life as a boy is the best...

damn... wow there are no words for how amazing i feel right now. i can't believe this! i feel wonderful and almost whole right now i have told everyone except for my dad and friends. i am just so happy i can't even dicribe how happy i am that my moms and my brother acept me my older brother is having trouble but i cna't excpect them to get this right off the bat. wow i just can't stop smiling it just feels so good to have my mom call me he. i chose my new name today it's alexander so if u want u...

For the past couple of days each and every time someone says she, her,or girl I cringe. Forcing my voice to sound normal I answer them but what I really want to do is scream at them that I'm not a she or a her hell I'm not even a girl. I'm a boy just a normal bisexual male. I can't wait for Tuesday so I can get this feeling to stop, but at the same time I'm dreading it the anxiety is eatting away at my soul. I'm still having the dreams and each morning its harder and harder to make myself get out...

i woke up this morning from another dream and in it i was a boy. when i had fully woken up and relized i wasn't a boy i wanted so badly to be a boy that i actully became one. JK i can only wish. but i did relize that i could become boy, but... frist i have to do the most terriefing thing in my life. come out to my friends and my family. i now know the only way to become what i am on the inside on the outside i will have to show the world who i really am. so slowly with very small babysteps i'm...