Hey, i'm new on this forum
I'm a 15 years old girl.
I first started cutting 3 weeks ago, i was so angry, and before i knew what i was doing, i had made little marks on my wrist with my compass. I was feeling so great after, so calm, like i had the control of me and the situation. Not enough to bleed, but enough to leave a mark for 2 days. Then my mind was always thinking about cutting another time, it was an obsession. I did it again 4 days later and still do it 3 times a week. But now, it's weird, but the compass is not enough to satisfy me, it doesn't hurt enough, i don't feel it anymore so i went with a pins, wich is more better, because i can see the marks even if i still not bleed. But i know it's stupid, but i needed more, i wanted to feel more secure, so i bought a swiss knife which i can carry with me everywhere. I feel i still control the situation but i have one feet on a stair if i use the knife then my two feets will be on the stair and i won't have the control anymore. It's been 4 days i haven't cut, but i feel i'm gonna do it again soon (sometimes with reasons, sometimes because i miss the feeling or because i feel i deserve it). I see a therapist, but i want to wait to tell her even if she knows i've done it once, she thinks i stopped.
Do you think i'm becoming addictive to cutting? it feels so nice, and it's like once you've tasted it, you can't forget it. it's much more easier to lean to the dark side...
Thanks you in advance for your answers
