[¯|_(ツ)_|¯]

Hey there,

I really don't think you're weird at all, and I can understand where you are coming from. I have never dated anyone either, and although I am bisexual, I would prefer a girl. Sometimes those gay jokes that people make can really hurt, but have you ever heard the saying "those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind?" It's true. Those who care so much about your sexuality don't matter, but there will always be people out there that love you for who you are.

As for your appearance, I think people in general notice flaws that others wouldn't even see. The things that you may not like about yourself other people may not notice or actually really love about you. I doubt that you are ugly at all, and people should love you regardless of your looks anyway, right?

Does your school, or even your town (maybe Google it) have a GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) or similar program? You can join those to meet other LGBT+ people and their straight allies, and there you can make new friends, share your story, and even give and get advice. It may be worth it to look into joining one, because you certainly aren't alone.

Even though you haven't been in a relationship now, you do have plenty of time. I'm sure you've heard this before, but it's true. One day, maybe even when you least expect it, you will find a guy out there for you. For now, you can focus on other things. For instance, if you have a hobby you like do it. Focus on school. Or, you say you do have some close friends. Sometimes a small group of friends can be a really wonderful thing. You don't need a massive group. You can hang out with them and keep the bond strong.

As for the biting, while it may not be cutting, it is a form of self harm and can get really addicting and doesn't really help you cope with anything. I'll give you the link to the alternatives to self harm thread so you can use those as a coping method instead. They are safer and better for you. The list is here.

Have you ever considered talking to someone? I think you should. I know that it may be scary to open up to people about it, but maybe it can benefit you. For example, a school guidance counselor won't yell at you or judge you, but instead will give you ways to cope with everything that you are going on. A school nurse, doctor, or therapist would do the same, but if there are any other trusted adults in your life, reach out. You don't have to suffer in silence.

Remember that "everything will be okay in the end, so if it's not okay, it's not the end." Keep your head held high and stay strong, because you can get out of the dark and into the light. I know you can.

I wish you the very best!