[PSY]

Originally Posted by Cassie999

there's this one thing I don't understand Why would he go to jail and the whole family will fall apart all because you go to counselling?

He was probably afraid of being charged for child neglect. If the authorities believed he knew about the self-harm, and did nothing, then they could charge him for failing to provide his child with the appropriate help (ex. taking her to see a doctor and psychological professional for treatment).

I can't read your father's mind... he could be acting this way now because of one of those reasons you listed, or perhaps for all of those reasons you listed. There are a few ways you can approach this. One would be to accept the positive change and simply be grateful that your father is treating you well, regardless of the reason why. Another would be to wait until the relationship is strong enough to handle a serious discussion, where you ask your father why his behavior has changed. The trick is in the timing. If you ask your father too soon, or if you lash out at him for what he did in the past, he may become angry in return and regress (act the way he used to again). If you wait a while, though, and approach him with a calm and open mind, then your father may be more open to an honest discussion in return.

Speaking from personal experience, I actually saw the OPPOSITE effect with my father. I think, deep down, he was afraid of competition, and didn't want to "lose" me or let my boyfriend "replace" him. Once I addressed that insecurity and reassured him that there was room for BOTH men in my life, he loosened up. Trying to see past your father's behavior and understand what thoughts/feelings FUEL that behavior may give you a great deal of closure in the long run, even if your father returns to his old habits. It's easier to deal with many situations once you can make some sense of them.