[mindflower]

I can't deal with this anymore. I love you, okay? I love you and I thought you at least liked me but no, you like her. Out of the blue, from completely nowhere, you can't live without her. And its killing me. I'm jealous of her in every way, she's so much prettier, so much more talented, she's everything that I'm not. But I thought we could have something, hell, you're the one that kissed me! What the fuck happened to that, beats the shit out of me, but I can't live without you.
and that's almost.... the main reason I want to die.
I'm alone again, Mimi broke up with me, and Matthew, I just need you. I never had you, I know that, I never had a chance really, but I can't do this anymore. I can't live without you. So perfect, so caring, and suddenly, what am I to you?
Invisible.
Annoying and invisible.
Probably ugly, probably worthless, nothing to you at all.
Mimi left me, Elena, Kate, Zoa, you, all of everyone is leaving me here in the darkness.
You have no idea how much I so badly want to slice up my arms, not eat anything for just... days and days... and to die. That above all... then you could be happy with Zoa. Matthew and Zoa....
Mimi and some amazing person she deserves.
Jack and whoever is good enough for him.... jack's the only thing keeping me alive right now.
you..... Matthew, without knowing it, you're killing me.