[MCT1204]

I am almost 21 and although I denied it for a very long time, my eating disorder (anorexia or restrictive eating) began when I was 19.

In a year I gained nearly enough weight to reach my goal weight. However I became distressed at my weight gain and lost a few kg's again.

People around me began telling me I was really thin again (some in a positive manner and some in a negative manner), I had stress of exams and I was living by myself whilst my family were away. I wanted to gain weight so badly and overcome it all and be "normal" again so I began to eat ridiculous amounts of food.

In about 2 months I have gained almost EDITED My BMI is within the normal range but such a huge weight gain in such a small amount of time has made me very uneasy. I feel huge, I feel sluggish, I feel embarressed of what people must think about such a rapid change. I don't fit into any of my clothes anymore and I don't want to go out in public and see anyone. I also can't stop eating so much because my body is so used to it now and I'm always hungry.

I used to be such a social person and now I am just so upset all the time at myself. On the one hand I want to go out and socialise, but on the other I just want to stay at home so nobody can see me because I feel so horrible and disgusting.

How do I overcome this so that I can feel good about myself again and stop gaining weight?