[Kindred]

Positivity. I have a tumblr where I reblog stuff. That helped me on bad days. Making lists of what I had to live for. Writing letters to my eating disorder and really, truly, hating it for what it did to me. Talking to my best friend. Going on long walks with music in. TeenHelp. This post (that entire blog, in fact, has helped me majorly, but the questions contain numbers, so be careful). Positive music. Blogging. Talking about sex (good distraction). Volunteering for a charity (Knowing I was contributing to the world and was worth something). Going out with my friends. Researching eating disorders and arming myself with knowledge. Talking about what I was going through. Working. Being calm. Working through a CBT book. Tough love when I was feeling strong. Warmth and reassurance when I was feeling weak. Separating myself from the eating disorder. Crying. Allowing myself to feel.

Okay. They were the first things to come to mind

You're so considerate and....just plain lovely Jess. Seriously. I'm in awe of you <3

I think what helped me was seeing what I had to live. Like...why I needed to recover. The things my eating disorder took away from me. I made lists of what my eating disorder 'gave' me (being different, sense of security, numbness etc), what it took away from me (couldn't exercise, couldn't spend time with my friends, didn't have any freedom) and then compared both lists.

I'm loathe to admit this next part. I needed someone else to take control of my situation before I could start to recover. If that makes sense I hated it at the time, I really truly did. It was...fucking awful if I'm honest with you. My parents taking control of my eating, making sure I ate as much as I was required to (straight to the hospital if I didn't) and making sure I didn't purge, exercise etc was ultimately what saved my life. I don't know if I would have had the willpower, the sheer strength to recover alone. I wasn't in a good enough position to be in charge of my own eating. It took a lot of effort on my parents part too. A whole lot. My parents did have guidance from a team specializing in eating disorders though, and they had an online support forum (a bit like this one ) to help them out. I'm not sure if any of that made sense, but yeah. My parents took charge, and ultimately that's what saved my life. Physically, that is. Is that an option with her parents at all? It sounds like she has a really caring family if they all go to the support group.

Mentally, it took more work on my part. I had to wake up, basically. I needed to take a good look at what I'd been doing and realise I needed to change. I couldn't think clearly at a low weight though, I had to gain weight before I could start to recover mentally. Therapy and stuff was pointless at a low weight. Other people might react differently, though. Is she in any therapy? Family therapy an option?

I hope that helped and wasn't just a sleepy ramble. <3