[entangledmind]

Originally Posted by PSY

Hey there! I'm really sorry you're dealing with so much pain and anxiety at the moment. It doesn't sound like some of your friends have been very understanding of what you're going through.

I really hope you don't take this the wrong way... but I feel "in the dark" about what's going on here. I mean, I can see what's happening with your friends... but what about everyone else? Why is it that so many people have "rejected" you? I don't want to point fingers and say you're to blame for everything... but when so many people have a negative reaction, it suggests to me that something happened in the past (which may or may not have been of your doing) that hasn't been fully resolved. Perhaps dealing with that issue (or the aftermath) now will help address some of the overall problems you've been having with trusting people.

No I greatly appreciate all honesty and am open to any opinion. As for the rejection, it began when I was seven years old my two older brothers and older sister moved out to live with their other family. I was seven and didn't understand the concept. I just thought I wasn't good enough therefore I concluded rejected. They've never really been apart of my life anymore since then.
With the five friends, they were adults, all well in their thirties and I trusted them with my life, but they also left me when they were offended by something my mothers said. Despite my mom's constant apologies they refused to have anything to do with us. They'd been my friends all my life and sword to do anything to help me in any need. The offense my mother caused them was requesting they ask her permission before inviting me over. They thought she was trying to control them therefore refused to talk to my mom anymore.
Twice in my life I have been hurt very badly and not well mended. I was hurt by people who I put my faith and trust in and in the end my own family left me along with people I considered family.
As I am older I do not blame my older siblings for moving out because I understand why, but since I was at such a young age it still has left some scars. Not to mention I haven't seen one brother in four years, and my other brother told me to my face as a ten year old he wanted nothing to do with us.
These are the reasons I have trust issues.
Now this isn't an excuse and plea for sympathy for anyone who wants to make friends with me. They shouldn't act any differently for my sake. I have to suck it up and realize the world isn't against me despite how truly hard it is.
I just want to mend this relationship that is falling apart (or has fallen apart) before me.
Please, if you have advice tell me.