[better-than-ecstasy]

I gave you reasons to not be alive
You let me go like it was the only way to save my life
You can only blame yourselves because you’ve all been warned
You even saw your name in red because I self harmed

I hope these pills are just enough to say, “Goodbye.”
They’ll find my MP3 Player playing Rascal Flatts’ “Why”
And on January 18
You'll find me, the girl that killed herself once she turned 15


I'll fall so hard, I'll break the ice
ending it all now was the best advice
All you could do was argue and tell me right from wrong
instead you should've told me life is where I belong


you'll find all the secrets that I tried hide
The reasons why I had no more tears to cry
You'll find my biggest bullies
and realize some of them are my own family

you'll walk around allen park high school
figure out why this process took so long to do
and there will be flowers left beside my name
all because suicide has so much fame


you shouldn't have waited until i was gone

to fix everything that went wrong
you should've been there
prove to me that you weren't the only person who cared


they'll all ask the same questions
the ones they ask each time another life was purposely taken
nobody will ever fully understand
why this happened the way it had


but I've explained too many times
too many years, too many lies
if anything changed
it would just be more and more pain


i'm sick and tired of helping others out
and get nothing in return as they leave me with only doubts
they'll have my pictures posted online
thinking that'll get them forgiveness since they all let me take my own life


they'll walk around my home
thinking of all the nights they left me all alone
you'll hear about my story on the news
wondering why i let myself loose


you'll have others saying its okay
because they were the ones waiting for this every day
there will be my friends who won't be able to comprehend
Then Kim and Hallie will break, admitting they know why it had to end


i'll be another reason why bullying should be stopped
but i know a few years down the road i'll be a subject that they've all decided to drop
so save yourselves some time
now's your chance to say your final goodbyes