[MikeG]

The last 3 years were complicated in terms of relationships. The first 2 years I had a crush on a girl even though we didn't quite get along. I thought it was possible that she would like me, but no. I had really strong feelings for her and on the 3rd year I tried to forget her. And I thought I did. Or maybe I have, but I still have some issues with it.

I had very strong feelings for her and I really wanted to be with her. I started looking up life philosophies on how you're the one who controls everything around you and with a shift of the mind you can accomplish anything. I still believe it's true, but it made me believe in this last year that I and her could still be together. I was slowly letting go of my feelings and I thought I really had when I ended school.

Today a friend told me he had gotten a text from her, something that could have also been texted to me. I felt hurt and jealous of my friend and that's not really a sign that I'm over her. There's still something that needs to be resolved.

I had her number on my old phone, but since I manually put all my contacts on my new one, I decided to not bring her number over. I felt bad when I did this. Like I'm losing out on something.

I think this is sticking to me in such a way that is hindering my dating. I don't feel interested for other girls, because I always see flaws in them. I had the image of the perfect girl and sadly my old crush has exactly what I want in a girl. Thusly I'm always comparing every girl to her and I see flaws in every single girl I meet. Heck I don't even want to meet other girls, because in a whole year I haven't found any girl like her so I just quit.

Funny thing is, I want a perfect relationship. It's something I really wanted since 3 years ago. But I simply have something in the way that doesn't let me become interested in girls. I could be being too picky, but if I'm not then I won't get the perfect girl.

This is confusing, but I need some help in this matter. It's simply unhealthy to still think about a girl for 3 years and still have her screwing my mind over.