Hey there, mate,
There are people out there like you, I livke in a rough area where to fit in you must drink, take drugs and smoke, also having IQ's of 20. It is hard finding a group of friends whom are like you and will ask you to go places (hell my friends kept talking about going to the ekka [don't ask] and last minute out of guilt they asked me to come and I couldn't go because mum didn't have enough warning.
Breaking into groups are hard, when I came to the school I'm at now I came from another area so everyone was in a tight knit group and it was hard to reach out and be like hey, mind being a friend? [I never said that in those words but you know what I mean].
Just stick with it. You can make friends if you keep trying. If you're a nice guy you should have no problems but it still is hard. For everybody really. It's daunting just going up to somebody you don't know and stirking up conversation. Even though that is sort of my job at the moment [greeter, guilty]. But, even in my position it's hard to stay friends, usually I float from group to group and I ws one of the first there! I've been there from the beginning and I'm confident but it still is hard!
I have one real friend whom is drifting away and I met her in year 4 (now in year 9) and even making that friendship was hard. I mean, I remember I always thought I want to be friends with her, she looks nice. I kept thinking that and because she was new she had no one. I finally went over and started talking and we became friends.
I've been ditched, way to many times, I have had to walk around my school a hundred times over, staring at my feet, because nobody wanted to talk to me. And often enough my friends would literally run away from me and I'd have to run after them.
Friendships take time and it's a constant struggle to keep them your friends. You can still go out for a drink and you may even meet someone during that time. Don't lose hope, just try harder
But, yeah, it feels like a lonely existence, even when I'm surrounded by people I feel lonely, out of place, wrong.
But, eighteen, you have freedom really. Keep trying, I swear, you'll find some mates to chill with.
Feel free to
PM/
VM me if you'd like to chat some time
Keep strong,
Jay.