Hey everyone,
The title says it all really. I'm 18 and I've just left school. At school I had those 'friends' that you talk to and get on with, but then they would never ask you out somewhere or anything, just sort of casual people you know.
All my life too, I've been 'friends' with people that wasn't 'me'. Id end up being friends with 'nerds' as people call them, and although they were my friends, we never went out, going out for a 'drink' was a bad idea to them, and taking care in how they look and dress was silly.
I'm not weird or strange or anything, I take care in how I dress and look, I like doing normal regular things, people 'assume' I have a lot of friends as I'm just an average friendly guy, and everyone I 'know' says I'm a very friendly person, but I'm just SO lonely. The problem is I live in quite a 'rough' area, so most people are just idiots anyway.
But then I go to the mall and places on my own and see people and think I'd love friends like that, but everyone is already in a group and comfortable, so they don't make more nor socialise.
I've tried joining classes, and a gym, but everyone is just chilled and already got their own set of friends they go out with. There all to themselves and not interested. I try talking to people and we have a laugh, and I say lets go out somewhere sometime and they sorta fade off, I guess there just comfortable with what theve got.
I feel its especially difficult as an 18 year old guy. There seems to always be this 'competition' between guys my age of who's the coolest etc, and making a 'friend' isn't cool enough or manly or whatever to them. It's like meeting a guy and chatting randomly he'd probabily think I'm gay and asking him out on a date. I seem to have no 'reason' to make friends.
Anyway, It just sucks so much, and I'm really lonely by myself all the time. I wish I had someone to do fun things with. I feel like I've just got stuck where I can't make any. People seem to make friends when they start school etc and then they have them, and I'm sort of past that, and now have no reason to know anyone.
I'm just blabbing more than anything, so I'm sorry, It just hurts me, I go out all the time by myself lonely, trying my best, but I just never make any friends.
It's almost like even the thought of knowing someone my age, that's a regular guy like me, that dresses modern and has 'cool' interests in unreal. I have never in my life met someone like that, and I'd love it.
Occasionally I'd buy something from a shop and get a cool looking person around my age on the cash desk, and him just talking to me in a nice way felt amazing, I imagine going for a drink with him and having a laugh and the thought of that is amazing.
anyway, that's my story of the night and my rant, feel free to post back or just read it and be grateful for the friends you have because id dream of having just one
