Hey there, welcome to the site.
You sound like you have the same goals as me :P no joke. I want to be a doctor overseas in Papau New Guinea or somewhere where I can do some good
But, maybe you need to find the root of why you're losing your optimism, to see why you are losing faith.
I know that a few people here can give you advice but you're the one who needs to check and see if the options do anything.
Good luck,
Jay.