[Coffee.]

Thank you Adam for pointing out the hostility. Make sure we keep on topic of helping the user. We all have moments of weakness, and sometimes, we think through our own feelings rather than the feelings of our partners. The OP has come for help, not to be insulted, so make sure that we help him rather than just point out the flaws in his request.

Funny enough, this may differ from others' responses, but I would ask her as to-the-point as possible. I'm a very straight-forward person when it comes to sex, probably due to the fact I do a lot of sex education. I see no point in mind-gaming it, since this will get you nowhere but hurt feelings and/or confusion. A few months ago, I literally asked my partner "Would you ever like to try out prostate stimulation? Any anal fingering or anal/oral sex?" I ask things to the point because I do not want to try something against my partner's wishes. I got a straight-forward answer because I didn't try t mind-read or play games.

Basically, I'd say this. If you decide to use this, feel free to add your own voice/flavor with whatever pet names you'd like to insert, but for me, this is what I'd basically say: "I'm ready to take our sexual relationship to the next level. However, I respect you, and your wishes, so I want to know how you're feeling at this point. What do you want? What do you want me to do? Are you happy where you are, and if not, what direction would you like to go? Is sex (in your own definition as vaginal intercourse) where you'd like to go in this relationship? I, personally, would like to go into the direction of sex (vaginal intercourse, in your case), particularly on my birthday, since that would be very fun/awesome/sexy. If that's not what you would like, would you be willing to do something else for my birthday? Is there a time where you would like me to do something to you? Tell me what you want (insert sexy pet name or her name here)"

There we go. To the point. If she says no, respect that. But there's no point in not asking and expressing what you want out of the relationship. For the few months before my first time, my partner asked me a few times if I was ready. I said no. It was not awkward, we just did something else. Basically just ask.