[mindflower]

I'm just gonna go down the line in my head

1) F*ck you. You think I'm an alien. Fine. I know, thanks for telling me. But I can too be liked, and I'm not worthless. I'm loved for who I am, and you can go jump in a river, A**hole
2) I always thought that you'd never leave me. That after all that happened between us that you'd forget about the past you had with her and give another girl a chance. But no becasue you're under her spell yet again. And I shoulda fucking seen it because why would you ever give me a chance. One kiss, and I shoulda known from that thatthis would end in flames. Well I guess I fell under the spell, didn't I Matthew. And who got hurt? ME! AGAIN! I can't believe I was so fucking stupid. And no, I'm not o-fucking-kay. In fact, I'm fucking killing myself because I feel like if I wasn't good enough for you, then hell, must not be good enough for life then right? Not pretty enough for you? Fine! I WONT EAT! not an angel, FINE! I'll fucking be a bitch. AM I ANNOYING? great. I won't talk to you. Thats what you want anyways. YOu want her, my best friend, you're what is it now, 5 time girlfriend, and me crying and alone with cut up arms and a frail torso and suicide right around the corner. Well fine. Because its obvious thia time, that "Ive got you Tay" just isn't fucking true. And neither is "I love you". You won't try to fix me. Why would you?
3) I'm not mad at you actually. In fact, I don't blame you for choosing him over me. Because im sure being bisexual was just too hard, especially when you had to pretend that you actually were atracted to me like that, just to get his attention. I'll admit it, you're better than me at everything. And I'm jealous as fuck. But I'm proud of you, and I just want you happy.
And by the way, DURING ADVENTURELAND ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!! why didn't you just tell me, why didn't he tell me god damnit, instead of letting him use me as a pleasure toy for the day and then drop me cold like I'm nothing. Why didn't anyone stop me from fucking embarrassing myself, when all along he had another girl and fuck it, I'm still thinking he loved me. Wow.
Am I pathetic or what!?
4) I understand why you never would like me. I don't blame you. But thank you for being there for me...for making me believe you might have liked me...even a little. And I wish you happiness.
5) you're right. I'm a discusting slut. A whore. A terrible daughter. And I'm going to hell. Its what I deserve for ruining everyone's lives.

there...done ranting