Re: What to do? Is he sorry? What about the pregnancy? Raped by ex-boyfriend.? Advice please... -
August 12th 2012, 06:11 AM
Technically according to your age, your parents may be able to press charges if they want, but in any case, it is up to you and/or your parents if you want to press charges. As for the baby, you may want to look into open adoption, but no there is nothing really matching what you're talking about. The closest thing is open adoption, but there's really no option where you can have another person care for the baby then take it back when you are older. You're options are pretty much as follows:
Keeping the baby- You'll be able to see the child grow up, and as long as you take care of it and provide for it, you will always have custody over this child. However, at 15, you are most likely not financially independent, and therefore your parents will be paying for this child, and it may make family life hard in general.
Abortion- You will not have to worry about the money situation other than the initial cost for the abortion, and be able to generally continue life as any other teenager. However you will have the emotional aspect that quite a lot of women do have in the fact that you were pregnant, and now no longer have that connection to a child, even though you know it was probably the best option for you (assuming you agree with that in this case).
Closed Adoption- You carry the baby until it is born, then see it go off with a family who you know can give that child a good life and a financially stable life, as well as give a couple a child they may not otherwise get to have or care for. However you've carried this baby for 9 months inside of you and you will not get to see it, and chances are, it will not know you unless they decide to look for you, and in that case, may never get to contact you until they are 18.
Open Adoption- You carry the child until birth, hand it off to a loving family who can care for it, and (depending on the agreement with the family), get to see him or her grow up, and they may get to know that you are their birth mother, you may be allowed to give presents for the birthday and other gift giving times, as well as maybe get pictures and letters from the child. However, you will not be raising them and will have essentially no say in how the child is raised, you will not have custody and if the adoptive parents so wish, may not be able to actually see the child, just send and receive letters.
Those are pretty much the very simple pros and cons to each option, but there are many more pros and cons to all of them, I highly suggest you do some research online or speak to a women's clinic counselor so they can help educate you on your options for this baby and you can decide what is best for you.
Resident old person, back from much needed, multiple year hiatus.
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