Quote:
Originally Posted by CatietheInsane
But I don't know but I just can't talk to him about this sort of stuff because he doesn't understand.
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I'm currently in the position of being that boyfriend. Take this for what it's worth, as my own personal views and opinions. Maybe it'll give you a bit of insight into how your own boyfriend is thinking.
It's seriously concerning, seeing the cuts and scratches. I had a basic understanding of
SH before I found out, so I never got mad about it, but I did the same thing your boyfriend did. I told her that if she ever thinks about doing it, I want her to text me and I will drop what I'm doing to come be with her. It is frustrating for us. Yes, maybe some guys will get scared and run for their lives. We don't all do that. Some of us are old-school, and we're wired to be protective. That's me. I always get the "But I'm scared you'll leave me" response. Bollocks. I'm not the type to cut and run when things get rough. If your guy is halfway decent, he'll be the same. I expect men to be there when things are getting rough. I expect men to not only be there when things are getting scary, but to be the emotional anchor for your relationship. If he's not doing this, you need to reconsider your relationship. I'm always coming home with injuries from work, some of which can be pretty serious. There is NOTHING which terrifies me like the thought of my girl being hurt. I've been in some hairy situations involving bushfires and even explosives, but nothing has made my stomach drop like a late-night text confessing she's just hurt herself again. It's a horrible feeling of helplessness.
We're teammates. Not somebody you have to impress. Please don't keep it to yourself. If you think you can, you are being selfish. You need to be open and honest with us, because we need to have your back during rough times. It's rough for us, knowing it happens and not being able to do anything about it. Please don't play the "I can't talk to him, he doesn't understand". Tell him. If he doesn't understand, MAKE him understand. Any man worth his salt will accept what you are telling him and do his best to understand what is going on. If he cannot handle the fact that you are depressed and cutting, I'm not sure if he's worth having in your life in the long run. He needs to get his head around that, and quick. He's your teammate. Your partner. He's probably a big part of your life. He's not there to judge, or to make things difficult. It's his PLACE to be helping you, to share that burden, to make life easier. You work together, not separately.
Communicate. Please. I don't know you at all, but your post sounded so similar to my own girlfriend it struck something of a chord.
Take care, Catie. I hope things get better for you soon
