[Arcenciel]

1-Am I normal? (keep in mind that I essentially will watch anything porn related in order to get off even when it gets fairly sick and twisted)
Yes. You are normal. You are 100% completely normal. We as humans are sexual beings. We have urges, and some of us look at porn to release some of that energy...or because we're curious or for whatever reason. I also want to touch on something your title suggests...a porn addiction. I want you to think about this...because watching porn often is not necessarily an addiction. Some people watch it daily or maybe even a few times a day. An addiction develops when you feel like you CAN'T live without it. When it's taken over your life, you're cooped up in your house all day watching porn because that's the only thing that brings you satisfaction. An addiction is an illness. Just watching porn is not an addiction in itself. When I was a teen and got involved in the church, they threw around the word "addiction" like it meant that if you watched it at all, you were addicted to it. In short, yes, you're normal.

2-What different ways can I try dealing with (and enjoy) my sexual needs without the guilt?
Do what feels right for you. Something that personally helped me was just becoming okay with the fact that it was okay to watch porn once in a while and that it's okay to be a sexual person and enjoy that aspect of my life. Coming to terms with the fact that it's okay to explore yourself sexually and finding out what that looks like for you. It really is up to you to figure out what makes you feel better about your sexuality.

3-Should I keep watching?
Again, this really is up to you. If you don't want to watch it, don't watch it. If you do, fantastic. It's your choice, and if that takes a while for you to figure out, then that's fine

4-Should I try to get past the guilt or is the guilt there for a reason
This is something that you have to look at your own beliefs and convictions for. Religious groups will often suggest that the guilt is there because the chosen deity is telling you it's bad. Others may say that it's best to get past the guilt. I am throwing a bit of the religious stuff in here because you said you grew up Catholic...and that can be a huge factor in things like this. For me personally, I am a Christian, but I chose instead to get past the guilt and accept myself as a sexual being. Others who are and who aren't religious may choose to accept the guilt as a sign to stop and they do that. It's your choice

5-Am I going to be able to have the traditional marriage that I want so badly?
Yes. There is nothing stopping you from having whatever you want in life. People who watch porn and people who don't have happy marriages and make of them what they wish.

6-Are there decent men out there that want a traditional Christian marriage will understand that I'm too addicted to too many different kinds of porn and will NEVER be happy with a sex life that involves him and him alone?
Again I want to look at the word "addiction" and I want to know what it means to you. Are you debilitated by pornography? Does it prevent you from enjoying and participating in every day life? There is a difference between frequently or occasionally watching porn and actually being addicted to it. And yes, there are decent guys who will accept you for who you are. Everybody has somebody out there for them, and you will find the right person when he comes along

7-Do marriages exist where the couple is open and honest with each other sexually--without all the things I hear about fake orgasms and cheating without much of an attempt to spice things up before giving up?
Yes Many couples have safe, happy, and satisfying sex lives together. Yes, everybody runs into speed bumps or problems, but many many people are happy with their sex lives overall.

8-Do you think I'll ever be able to find a man who really loves and respects me who believes in the sanctity of marriage and that will understand and appreciate my sexual appetite?
Yes

I hope that I've been helpful.
Be well
Jen