[Brandon]

Two words: dating service.

Seriously. I wasted over two years of my life depressed because I wanted a relationship but was told to either:

a) pursue women
b) let women pursue me
c) both a and b

Yeah, I could pursue women. I did a couple times. One time, this girl and I were having a conversation during the beginning of semester and I ended up asking her out. She responded by saying "step in line." Shortly after, I asked another woman out...completely random, a bank teller, by walking up to her desk and saying "I'm just going to be honest with you. Would you like to go out sometime?" She said no and backed away with a smile.

Ask yourself...even if were the master of getting relationships, why does it even matter? Multiple relationships doesn't bring you closer to true love, it only brings you closer to pessimism and heart-break because you'll feel like you can't find a guy that's worth dating. All you need is one relationship, and the probability of finding that guy/girl who is best for you is slim to none. You might find someone who has one similarity...perhaps you see a guy who reads Harry Potter, and you like Harry Potter too...so you begin talking, but that by no means ensures that you have other matching qualities that really helps the relationship. You're already risking too much when you try to get out there in reality because something may spike your interest in someone...but after that point...anything could come out of that person's mouth. It's really not that necessary.

You're independent. Here's what I suggest...join a dating service, and check up on it. Free dating service. Answer questions about your personality, give an extensive profile description of yourself in all dimensions, and sit back and relax. Show that confidence in yourself, that independence, that patience, and the messages will start rolling in. Then once you start having conversations, you can admit that you haven't had a relationship in a while, and they may actually feel the same way.

But if you expect to not join a dating service because you may feel that it's an act of desperation (and if that's the case...who cares?) then you need to understand that there's no sole reason why you don't have a relationship. If you don't pursue, someone else has to. If they don't, then there's reasons why (and there's potentially millions of reasons). If you want to pursue people in reality, you gotta show your best qualities. If I'm a single guy and I look at you, I'm gonna ask myself "why should I date this woman and not someone else?" What do you have to offer me that makes you different than all the other women? An amazing sense of humor? Pretty eyes? Funny laugh? If you accentuate those qualities, you'll convince me to date you. If you accentuate the wrong quality...perhaps you have big tits or a nice round ass, then may only convince me to pursue you sexually. Put yourself out there as date material, which is important. The best places to meet people are the places that you enjoy going to, but also places that force you to interact with people. Otherwise, you're gonna sit somewhere in the corner, cradle your body together, and gaze at people as they walk by as if you were about to murder them. Going to the bowling alley is a prime example of where you don't want to meet people, but maybe a poetry club or some kind of organization that brings people together is the right place as long as it's something you enjoy doing.

Otherwise, it's all based on luck. Gotta be at the right place at the right time. Personally, I'd choose a dating service because it's essentially cutting out the middle man. With dating services, you meet people and know a lot about them before you actually talk. Going up to someone in reality, however, is walking up to a stranger and not know whether they'll pull out their stun gun or not. The worst that can happen on dating services is you don't get a response.