Step one: talk to a professional. A psychologist, A counselor, A doctor, A family friend, the neighbor next door, whoever you can. Your situation will not improve in your current environment, and it sounds like you need proper authorities to help pull yourself out of it and into a better place.

I'm actually really surprised you are taking anti-depressants. Most psychiatric medications are unsafe to take during pregnancy. You need to consult a doctor before even taking tylenol if you are pregnant.

If you are taking psych meds and you know that you are having twins (meaning you received a sonogram or ultrasound) you have seen or are seeing a doctor. If you aren't, I suggest you find one. This includes going to your nearest emergency room. A hospital will not refuse you safety or care. Hospitals are also safe baby locations, making them particularly attentive to your plight. If it will take too long to see a doctor, then go to a hospital. If you are feeling suicidal you need help immediately.

No one on this website is going to be able to adequately address your problems. We cannot give you the will to live. The only way you are going to be able to properly maintain the safety of you and your children is to seek professional help.