[amystery]

Im scared.


I love you sooo much but it's hard to watch you get worse and worse every time I go to visit you. I worry about you a lot lately and one of these days I'm scared I'll have to pick up the phone and hear that something happened and that last phone call or visit will be that last time I get to talk to you. I know its a fact of life but its hard to be four and a half hours away. I'm noticing you go downhill even more this last while, especially since Im not at home and it seems more suddent to me...I need you to be okay...Mom...I'd never tell you this but its killing me to have to talk to Grandma when shes so mixed up etc. I dont know how you do it every single day but I can't do it. I wish I could just remember everything the way it was before she was so mixed up etc. I'll go visit because nobody else will go with you but phonecalls are sometimes too much. I'll never tell you that though...