[Dr.Bobby]

This is always a tough one.

I think it fair for you to let her know how utterly helpless and disturbing it is for you to hear about (or see) cutting. Most especially at 2am. I think you can work on some kind of plan about what to do if she does this (primarily, telling her folks), but usually the best advice is to let her know that the combo of your total inability to deal with this, coupled with how unsettling it is means you'd prefer not hearing about it at all. And in response to the gasps of disbelief out there, let me also say that being a both a teenager and a b/f is about fun and love...not treatment. That's a responsibility left to the adults in her life, primarily her folks and her doc. Conversations about cutting really do need to be professionally managed, all talk is not the same.

If she cannot agree to this, then what she's saying is that she is not yet ready to be in a relationship, and it might be best to end things gently. Sometimes, people need to intensely focus on themselves and their issues before they're ready or able to involve another person in a healthy way.