|
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 1st 2012, 09:18 PM
D :I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry. I was upset and just being selfish when I was talking to you last night. I'm sorry. I had no right to say those things or talk to you like I did, being upset isn't an excuse. I was going to cut, but then I remembered what you said so I didn't. I wanted to so badly, but I didn't. I shouldn't have told you that I purged, I should have just let it go but I was being selfish and decided to tell you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know sorry is a pointless word because it's used so often but I feel so terrible about what I said. I'm sorry.
J: I promised you a long time ago that I'd tell you every time I throw up, but I can't. I can't stand your disappointment, your anger.
M: I don't care what's happening to me, I'm not going to stop. But I'm not going to let on everything that's going on because I don't want you to worry about me. Remember, you told me yourself that I'm perfect.
Dr. M: I throw up. Like a lot. That's one of the reasons I don't sing as well as I did. I know that I'm hurting my vocal chords, I know that I'm throwing my sole talent down the drain but I don't care. I've sung for seven years, I love it more than words can express but I can't give up on purging. I don't want to give up on purging. Thank you for teaching me so much, I'm going to stay in choir as long as I can but I know singing will some day become impossible for me. With what I've learned from choir I can use in different places. I'll write music, I'll play the piano and learn how to play the guitar. The self-discipline and control that choir has given me isn't good though, it makes not eating so much easier for me.
E: I'm dying but I don't care. I'm not afraid of death. Not anymore.
|