[Eternal]

At times I’ve shouted out unprovoked, at the world and you,
Just to see if the people around me react.
Sometimes I think they’re all acting,
At times I’m scared that I’m acting, too.

Maybe I just think about it all so much
That that the fear stays close to all the ghosts I’ve touched.
Makes me question:
Was it love or just lust?

Maybe it’s just as much about what comes our way as it is how we react.
Just as much about the things that we’ve still got as it is about the things we lack.

But if we’re still here, and we still breathe,
At least we’ve still got time to figure it out,
To know what to do,
To know how to feel,
Know the things that I’ve been making up inside my head,
And to know what’s real.

I want to believe that the way I am
is just the way it goes.
For the things that came, not the things I chose.

I want to know if I had any control.
I want to know if it’d comfort me.

And if my heart just stops, pack my memories in it
I want to know all the love I’ve got.