[lolerskates]

Hello everyone, I come here seeking a little advice or guidance about an issue in my relationship. My girlfriend is overweight (I wouldn't say hugely overweight, but she's not just slightly overweight). When we first started dating, I was a complete asshole and surely made her self image issues a lot worst. How was I an asshole? I wouldn't introduce her to my friends, I wouldn't put up a relationship status on Facebook, afraid to hold her hand in public, and bad stuff like that.


The reality of it was that I was not comfortable with the relationship, but from the start I knew I could love this woman for who she was on the inside. This was back in high school, when I had self-image issues myself, and didn't want to feel bad about my relationship with her. We're out of high school now, much further along in the relationship, and I'm very comfortable with our relationship. I love her very much and she's been an awesome girlfriend. She's fully integrated into my life (and honestly should've been from the start).

But now I'm encountering problems that I don't know to handle, or even be helpful about. For the first three years of the relationship, sex has never been a problem. We'd have sex multiple times a week and she often expressed interest in being intimate. This was back when it was actually difficult for us to be alone with eachother. Now, she lives on her own and I sleep with her on most nights. Despite this, we have sex about once a week, and rarely more than that.

I'm not saying that all I care about is sex - but it's at the point where if I ever want to have sex with her, I pretty much have to force her to do it. And like I said, it's a lot less often than it used to be. When I talk to her about it, she says it's because she has body image issues, and isn't in the mood. I told her that it's okay and that I understand. But as the months progress now, I'm starting to feel like she doesn't desire me sexually at all - but I feel like she's been a great girlfriend in every other department. Still - my mind keeps wandering off..."is she cheating on me?".

Anyways, I'm wondering what should I do to repair this problem? People say talking about things helps, but I've talked to her about it multiple times and in the end there's nothing changed. What kills me about this is that despite being overweight, she's still actually a very beautiful woman and gets compliments (even from other guys) about how pretty she is. I wish I could make her realize that she's pretty and that weight simply isn't that important. I've even told her this countless times. She tries to diet and exercise (and I offer to exercise with her as well as try to congratulate her on her dieting, though when she goes off it - I do nothing to reprimand it, I understand that dieting is hard).