[winterrose]

im currently suffering from depression and i cant cope, ive been to the dotors but he was basically saying i needed o pull myself together, and i havent heard back from them since. each day gets harder, each week feels like an eternity, i cant do anything anymore, when i get into my head i cant get out, i cant calm down and i just think about how much easier life would be for everyone if i wasnmt here. i think about everything ive done wrong, everyone ive let down, diissapointed, i cant escape the thoughts no matter what i do and it all gets to much and i have to punish myself for being a faliure, so i cut myself, currently i have about 4 cuts on my arm and 3 deep ones on my leg. i feel awful and sick when i realise what ive done but when im in my head i dont think rationally and it seems like the right thing to do, i dont want to do it anymore but i just dont know how to get myself out when i start feeling like this, sometimes smoking a cigerette helps but i cant always get hold of one, someone please tell me some alternatives