[Eternal]

I know you haven't directly said whether you self harm or not, but I think the list of alternatives could be beneficial for you. It has ways to get that rush but without doing permanent damage to your body. Might be worth checking out: Alternatives to Self Harm

You could also try switching to rewarding yourself rather than needing pain. Another thing to try is exercising when you feel you need to feel something. Not only is exercise good for you, it releases endorphins which make you happy. Try going for a long walk or a run the next time you start feeling like you need a release.