Firstly, don't listen to any posters begging you to "take the right path and regain your faith in God". You've already realised that religion is pretty much fictitious.
I think this is a serious problem for atheists, as people have lived with religion practically
forever and don't know how to live without. Luckily I was reared an atheist so most of my problems were sorted out in childhood, but I still sorta feel the way you do.
Philosophy might help you, science might help you, but this is a journey you have to take yourself (Jesus in the desert?
Yep had those journeys before, both physically and philosophically...).
And you will come up with your own answer, and realise that what is missing from the atheist life is
LOVE.
But you've got some way to go before you fully accept your choice of vantage-point (because that's all religion really is). Good luck until then.