[helloovee]

I had a thing with this guy, lets call him Jake, and basically we kissed and stuff when we were drunk. Or just in general, we werent in a relationship, sortof friends with benefits. NOTHING serious. this went on for 2 weeks.

then we stopped, i stopped kissing him ,holding hands etc., it just ended cause i realized i dont find the guy attractive at all and found nothing good in him. in the 2 weeks that we were "friends with benefits" we had sex one time and it was terrible cause i wasnt ready and felt pressured. but that was my choice. it was kindof the reason why i wanted to stop the friends with benefits cause i felt disgusting doing it and told him i didnt wanna do it again.

so basically after it ended, about a week later, i was invited by a friend to go drink at his house, and i agreed. the guy, jake, was also there and had drank about 3 hours ago, it was obvious he was already close to sober by the time i got there.

we walked for an hour to go buy more vodka, and by the time we got back to the other guys house, it was obvious jake was pretty much sober. i drank 11 shots of vodka, i know, stupid stupid mistake. basically, i completely blacked out and dont remember anything. my friends told me i wasnt talking AT all, i juist kept staring at nothing and doing nothing. when i woke up, the house was completely unfamiliar to me, i didnt remember ANYTHING that happened, at all. i found out that jake had sex with me that night. i have no rememberence of it. i confornted him and he said that i agreed to it, which is a lie because everyone there said i was completely unconcious and was not talking at all. when i told him this, he said "well, i was drunk too! so it was an accident!" which is also a lie because like i said, he already sobered up before i even drank.'

is this rape? i feel disgusted by what he did and he even said that i passed out while he was doing it!!!!!! how disgusting is that!!!! i dont remember any of it at all, and he thinks its ok what he did, by i dont think it is. what do you guys think? is this rape? or its not rape since we had sex before? i feel like he took advantage but i want other peoples opinion..