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nicky1 Offline
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Location: Boston, MA, USA

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Re: Need an impartial opinion - Is is ok that a girlfriend in a long term relationship find other males attractive? - November 30th 2011, 04:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maloo View Post
That bothers me. I understand that it's the way you were brought up, but if you know that it's a problem, you can change it. It's not going to happen in a day, but it really bothers me to hear people say "well I know it's bad, but it was the way I was raised."
I didn't say it's a bad thing. I said I am aware that I am controlling, that I have that trait, not that I believe it's bad and it needs to change. I honestly don't see being controlling is a bad thing, if you don't overdo it.

What should I do otherwise - be completely ok with everything that happens to me, and never take control over anything in my life and relationship?

Under the term "issue" I meant being controlling. You are right about anything else (if issue was I don't know - dishonesty, being bad tempered, being insensitive, whatever, then it is something that needs to be fixed and would make me a better person. And I'd never give up on that and say "Ok, I'm bad, but I can't help it". I like to evolve and become a better person, to fix my negative traits and develop positive ones. But I think I would become a weak and not better person if I gave up on controlling completely. Then everyone would think they could do whatever they want with me, including my girlfriend. Well, they just can't.
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