[rescueisnotamyth]

I wish you would ask instead of pretending you didn't see.
I wish you knew what I knew.
I wish you knew the hurt you have caused me.
sometimes when you yell I think I deserve it so I let you go on yelling.
sometimes when I contemplate suicide I want to tell you, but I don't because I'm afraid you won't care... or you'll care too much.
sometimes I just want to runaway from you.
sometimes when I look in the mirror I wonder if you hate me as much as I hate myself.
sometimes I leave out my journal to see if you'll read it and confront me about it.
sometimes I look at you and I wonder if you would even be able to begin to understand.
sometimes when you're standing there in the hallway I don't go up to you because I'm afraid you'll know I'm not okay.
sometimes I whisper that I love you when I'm cutting... even though I don't know why.
sometimes I wonder if you really love me.
sometimes I wonder if you would do whatever you had to to save me.
sometimes I think about suicide just to wonder what you would do.
sometimes I wonder if you would visit me in the hospital if I got hurt really bad.
I know you would look at me differently if I told you... but I still want to tell you.
I gave up everything to tell her... and she doesn't even care.
sometimes I want to go to a doctor so that they can tell me something is wrong with me... maybe then I would have an excuse.
sometimes when I look in the mirror I imagine myself with scars all over... and I wonder if I'll end up looking like how I imagine.
sometimes I tell myself that you don't care so that it doesn't hurt so much when I do stupid things to myself.
sometimes I want to "accidentally" cut too deep just to see if you would find me in time.
sometimes I want to tell myself you left those pills out just so I could find them and take all of them... even though I know you didn't.
sometimes I wish I could live inside my music.
sometimes when you walk past I look down so you can see my eyes because I'm afraid of what you'll see.